TV

LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) No time for idle chit-chat today. Like how can Donald Trump run several major enterprises but not be able to seamlessly read from the teleprompter?

Or how do you think the original cast members of "The Practice" feel now that they are being pushed aside in favor of the newbies who are sure to be on next season's spin-off?

And finally have you ever noticed that secret documents and covert devices are never hidden at a 7-11 on "Alias"? They're always stashed in a night club that will require Sydney to wear a rubber dress.

Alas, today we must get to the tasks at hand. There is so much happening as we head into May sweeps that we cannot waste a moment.

Quotes of the Week

"You raised your own bar and that's where you live right now," Quentin Tarantino to Jennnifer Hudson on "American Idol." I am so voting him best celebrity "American Idol" judge ever.

"What do you think of 'Kill Cowell'?" Ryan Seacrest to Tarantino on "American Idol."

"How can you live like this? Your t-shirts are touching your sweaters?" Summer to Marissa on "The O.C." Thanks to TV Gal reader Brent for the quote.

"No, it's National Baptism Day. Tie your tubes," a soaked Paris when a girl asks her if it is raining outside on "Gilmore Girls." Thanks to TV Gal readers Jen and Anthony, who were the first among many readers to send me this very popular quote.

"Well, at least we don't have to worry about Ephram dating her." Andy about Mrs. Hammerhill, the new babysitter, on "Everwood."

"Dad, what are you doing? Trying to fly?" Clark to his father on "Smallville."

"Nick and Amy, this is the weakest romance I've ever seen." Trump to the show's would-be couple on "The Apprentice."

"What Rob did today at the reward challenge was a generous move, but it was also a strategic move. Giving up his brother's video tape for letters from home may win him a million dollars." Shii Ann speaking the truth on "Survivor: All-Stars."

"If you had to fall in love with someone who is evil, I can see why it was her," Marshall to Vaughn on "Alias."

"I'm stuck here with an unstable human who drinks too much and calls me a smurf." Illryia to Wesley on "Angel." Thanks to TV Gal reader Chris for the quote.

"Some hearts are more fragile than others -- pure somehow. Like crystal in a world of glass. Even the way they shatter is beautiful." Irv in the voice-over on "Everwood." Thanks to TV Gal reader Rob for the quote.

Luke Quote of the Week

In honor of Luke leaving Newport Beach, we're giving this week's quote to him.

"Welcome to Portland, bitch." Luke to Ryan mocking himself and the very first episode of "The O.C."

Where Have I Seen Them Before?

Kathryn Joosten, the dear, departed Mrs. Landingham on "West Wing," is the Brown's new babysitter on "Everwood."

Tracey Needham, C.D. on "The Division" and Paige on "Life Goes On," was the mother whose daughter died in a house fire on "C.S.I." K Callan, Martha Kent on "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman," was the grandmother. Jason Kravitz, Richard Bay on "The Practice," was the Logo's champion.

Valerie Mahaffey, perhaps best known as Eve on "Northern Exposure," was Martin's missing aunt on "Without a Trace."

A slew of people are popping up on "The Practice" and possibly next season's spin-off. Lake Bell, Victoria on "Miss Match," was the pot-smoking lawyer Sally. Currie Graham, Nate on "Suddenly Susan," was the lawyer settling the wrongful death lawsuit. David E. Kelley cast Gina Gershon (who also has an ABC comedy pilot), the firm's investigator, as the lead in his short-lived "Snoops."

And, of course, we all recognized Adam Baldwin, Jayne on "Firefly" and Knowle Rohrer on "The X-Files," as the man looking for Eve on "Angel."

Best News of the Week

ABC is finally going to air its three-hour made-for-television movie "A Wrinkle in Time." This was my all-time favorite book as a child. I'm a little nervous since the movie has been wrapped for years and ABC has constantly delayed its airing. But the movie stars a much younger Gregory Smith (Ephram on "Everwood"). Honestly, how can it not be fantastic?

Rock the Vote

Want to vote for your favorite television character? (Can you guess who I voted for?) Go to http://www.bravotv.com/100_Greatest_TV_Characters/. The deadline for voting is this Friday, April 23.

Highlights of the Week Ahead
All times listed are Eastern Time for April 19 to April 25.

"Philly" co-stars Kyle Secor and Kim Delaney reunite in Lifetime's "Infidelity" (Monday at 8 p.m.). As has been previously established, I will watch anything with Delaney. I've been loyal to her since her days as Jenny on "All My Children."

Rocco DiSpirito, easily the most unlikable reality star (it's a dead heat between DiSpirito and Johnny Fairplay for me) returns for a second season of "The Restaurant" (Monday, NBC, 10 p.m.). DiSpirito is fighting Jeffrey Chodorow, his financier, for control of Rocco's on 22nd. After two episodes, I'm rooting for the egotistical Chodorow. That can't be a good sign.

It's way too soon to brag, but my picks for the final four are still in "American Idol" (Tuesday, FOX, 8 p.m.) Are yours?

Let me confess right now that I'm hooked on "Showbiz Moms & Dads" (Tuesday, Bravo, 9 p.m.).

Tara Reid returns to "Scrubs" (Tuesday, NBC, 9:31 p.m.) to help J.D. nurse his broken heart.

Lt. Fancy faces off against his old squad when James McDaniel guest stars on "Law & Order: SVU" (Tuesday, NBC, 10 p.m.).

Vincent Kartheiser returns as Connor on "Angel" (Wednesday, WB, 9 p.m.). It is such good times having this parade of familiar faces. If only some of the original Scoobies could stop by.

Richard Schiff (Toby) directed this episode of "The West Wing" (Wednesday, NBC, 9 p.m.) which also introduces Mary McCormack (who we saw earlier this season as the Red Cross worker on "ER") as the President's new Deputy National Security Advisor.

Let the hype begin. This is the third-to-last new episode of "Friends" (Thursday, NBC, 8 p.m.). Ever.

Jack graduates from nursing school on "Will & Jack & Karen" (Thursday, NBC, 9 p.m.). We have to call it something while Grace is out on maternity leave, don't we?

My friend Betsy missed the last episode of "ER" (Thursday, NBC, 10 p.m.) and she called me up and said "so Kerry's girlfriend died and now her family is trying to take custody of her baby, right?" She gathered all that from the previews. That's how predictable Kerry's current plot line is. Laura Innes is a fantastic actress and the final scene of Sandy's brother physically keeping her away from her baby was upsetting and heart wrenching. But couldn't "ER" come up with something a little more inspired?

It's the season, but cross your fingers not series, finale of "Arrested Development" (Sunday, FOX, 9:30 p.m.). This is the most clever, most innovative, and certainly most hilarious comedy on network television. If FOX can't keep a show like this on the air, what hope is there? For a peak at what will happen on the finale, read my spoilers below. And if you want to get involved in saving the show from cancellation, go to: http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/SaveAD (Thanks to TV Gal reader Darcy for the link.)

To the TV Gal Reader Belongs the Spoils

You know the rules. Don't read if you don't want to know.

Peter gets caught drinking on "7th Heaven," while Lucy and Kevin think about having a baby (didn't they do that last year?).

Rumors abound about "Alias." First of all, Vaughn's life will be in danger in the season finale. Isabella Rossellini is back as Katya Derevko and Vivica A. Fox is back as super security designer Toni Cummings. Look for Katya to make a big move on Jack and for Syd's half-sister Nadia to go on the lam with Sloane. Also TV Gal reader Kate was one of several "Alias" fans to tell me that Sydney's half-sister's name is Nadia Santos. Nadia is Aidan spelled backwards and Santos is, of course, Saint. And we all remember that Sydney dreamed about St. Aidan early this season.

George Sr. will fake a heart attack to escape to Mexico with Kitty in the season finale of "Arrested Development." Tobias' book will become a gay bestseller and Buster and Annyong will continue their rivalry - this time they will fight over a woman.

Elliot asks Sean (Scott Foley) to move in with her on "Scrubs" while Dr. Cox realizes he may actually have a crush on the beautiful Dr. Miller.

Pratt is accused of sexual harassment on "ER." And Sam's ex-husband will move back into her house and cause all sorts of problems for her blossoming romance with Kovac.

You know that old case of Andy's that is coming back to haunt him on "NYPD Blue?" My favorite detective will begin to think that the girl's father actually committed the crime. Also John's ex-girlfriend Jennifer will come to visit him and she won't be doing well.

Joey's agent Estelle dies on "Friends" but Phoebe doesn't want him to find out since he's already traumatized by Chandler and Monica's move and Rachel's acceptance of the job in Paris. Look for Ross to desperately try to get Rachel her old job back.

Amy and Ephram will go to prom together on "Everwood," but Amy still won't tell Ephram how she feels about him. Also we will be seeing Madison one more time, but Linda will soon leave "Everwood" for good. This will leave the door wide open for Nina and Andy.

Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson will review Bernie's confessional on "The Bernie Mac Show." This will give us another chance to see the fabulous Rick Hoffman as Bernie's agent.

Jason and Richard will dissolve their business partnership on "Gilmore Girls." This will lead to a huge fight between Lorelai and her father. Luke will finally divorce Nicole -- for real this time.

Kelly Ripa will reunite with many of her "All My Children" co-stars (including Susan Lucci) on the season finale of "Hope & Faith" (May 14).

Jack will realize the only way to get to Stephen Saunders on "24" is through someone very close to him. Also Saunders will threaten to release the virus in a second location.

Lex will try to regain his memory on "Smallville." Considering that he knows Clark's secret (really, who doesn't at this point?), this is not a good thing.

Robert will briefly become a model on "Everybody Loves Raymond."

So Jack's big secret on "Tru Calling" is that he too can relive days. But the problem is he relives them not to save the person but to ensure that they die. This becomes quite a problem when Tru's brother Harrison dies and Tru desperately tries to save him.

Donna tells Josh she's not happy just being his assistant on "West Wing." And don't forget that I keep hearing Donna's life will be in danger before the season is over.

Jamie Bergman, David Boreanaz's real-life wife, will guest star on the April 28 episode of "Angel." Illyria (otherwise known as Fred) will try to kill the gang.

Julie Cooper and Caleb Nichol will tie the knot in the season finale of "The O.C." The boys will head to Vegas for a bachelor party while Kirsten throws Julie a bachelorette party. And if you think Caleb has other reasons for wanting to marry Julie -- you'd be right. And if you thought he had other reasons for wanting to purchase The Lighthouse restaurant, well you'd be right there too. Theresa's in all sorts of trouble, so look for Ryan to throw a couple of punches, try to defend her, and put himself in a cliffhanger of a bad situation when the series has its finale on May 5.

That's all for today. I plan on seeing "13 Going on 30" the day it opens. How about you? I'll be back next Monday with everything you ever need to know about May sweeps but were afraid to ask plus the shows worth saving the season (the list is much shorter than you would think). Coming in May -- what I'll miss most about "Angel" (what other show could have a joke about a world with nothing but shrimp?), the performances of the season (kudos to Chris Pratt), and why I continue to love Boston Rob. Have question, seen a familiar face, have an inside scoop or want to nominate a quote of the week? Write me at amytvgal@zap2it.com by clicking on my byline at the top of my column.